Asking for space in a relationship Having time apart brings about freshness in a relationship. Even if you are the more independent partner, you are likely still conscious of your partner’s feelings and do not wish to hurt them. This time apart can be a chance to focus on yourself and what you want from life. " Of course, if a partner's request for space seems completely ridiculous, you don't have to go along with it. Lots of stories would come up for me and I was convinced that the relationship was doomed because to me, space meant the end of the relationship. Meet up with significant other to either work things out/break up. How I do it: 1. Engaging in self-care activities: Sometimes making space takes more work than people realize. Here are 6 ways to tell someone you need space without being hurtful or losing them: 1. I occasionally ask 15 minutes in the heat of an argument to get back to a level head, and I know therapists advocate for asking for space at times and that it may take longer for some people to cool down. Give it 10 or 30 minutes, and if it’s important maybe you can reengage calmly. Tell significant other I need space to work through things/work things out in my head. g. “All that I ask for Is one little corner One private room at the back of my heart Tell her I found one She sends out battalions To claim it and blow it apart. Generally id rather just spend time with her. It can be challenging to figure out just But not every relationship hurdle calls for a breakup. And at some other times, relationships need space to grow. Understand what they want and try your best to be a supportive partner. i know he means no harm, I’m just not a clingy female, never been. Allowing you and her space to be with other friends and other social circles keeps your relationship healthier, allows ya'll to miss each other, etc But in the 1950s, people didn’t ask for “space” in a relationship. To clear his head or when he’s done with you. Define What "Space" Means In Your Relationship. I feel very sad and confuse. Experts share advice for partners, family, When you give too much space in a relationship, it is often difficult to bring the connection back on track. How to Ask for a Break In a Relationship If you’re considering taking a break in a relationship then it’s likely your partner at least has some idea that things aren’t exactly going well. John Gottman, “When partners are able to spend time apart, they return to the relationship feeling Learn how to ask for space in a relationship. i don’t understand when people say they’re “taking a break” in a relationship. Create a plan of action for a healthier, happier relationship. Reflection on the relationship’s direction; If there are unresolved issues within the relationship, she might require space to think about her needs, expectations, and future In other words, when you have self-respect in a relationship, you don’t compromise your values, boundaries, or needs for the sake of the relationship. Talk about how When is asking space in a relationship good? Not good exactly, but it just means that ut’s not on you and you can do things to improve the situation. When you are in a relationship it is a joint effort, but that doesn't mean Don’t miss: 11 Reasons Why She Is Not Ready For A Relationship And What To Do About It. You need your space. Read think or whatever i feel like doing. I did have a week period where I was overbearing with texting her, She blocked me. Although it may be challenging, try to Relationship space lets us reconnect with ourselves and return to each other with a fresh perspective. Don’t leave your partner asking for space in a relationship repeatedly. i’m low key getting tired of him but i don’t want to say that because i know it’ll hurt his feeling. Be upfront about what you want. We would still answer each other's texts, we would still communicate. Successful long term relationships involve readjusting distance on occasion. There are certain phrases that chill the marrow when you hear them in the context of a relationship. yes- there are times you may need to have some alone time to think about what to say or do. We guide you through this delicate process to ensure mutual understanding and respect. e. Space is crucial for a healthy relationship, as it provides us with time to explore our interests, spend time with friends, or simply reflect and unwind. In conclusion: What space really means. Spending time apart from one When the one you love asks for space, it can feel like a storm cloud has settled over your future together. don’t listen to them, OP. So, here are 375 questions that will spark new She asked for space, and ensured that there’s still possibility for a future. Teenagers also have a lot of stuff like after-school programs, ACT/SAT prep, homework, jobs, and a bunch of other stuff to fill up the time they usually would spend thinking about a partner. While it may sting a bit, This is a lengthy post which goes over the relationship between Wilhelm and Simon throughout the two And Simon of course gets hurt when he was the one who should have given him the space to grieve and just been a supportive friend if Wilhelm decided to Simon is asking too much to not be in situations that are damaging 10. When a woman reaches the point where she’s asking for space, it typically So i’ve (21f) been in a relationship with my boyfriend (21m) for a few months & i love him but he’s very clingy & we are with each other 24/7. I'm in a 10-year-old relationship with a very active women where I am very calm guy that is very introverted and needs a lot of time alone. Needing space can actually be one of the healthiest requests we can make in our Rhonda Milrad, a relationship therapist and founder and CEO of relationship app Relationup, tells Bustle that a sign you need some space from your partner is if "how they dress, or eat their food Asking for space, and not being clear about what that means, can reinforce an imbalance of power within your relationship and make you feel as though you need to jump through hoops to keep them. RELATED: 7 Tools To Help You Stop Comparing Yourself To Others 3. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. Instead, you find a balance–or a middle path–that allows you to have both a healthy and fulfilling connection with For me when ever someone asks for space in a relationship its a HUGE Red Flag!!! I totally believe that when two people meet and its meant to be then they find constructive ways to work though their issues as couple in a productive way TOGETHER. Even when me and my wife had fights before we got married, we would still talk, space or not. If he is still hot about it, express that it’s important to you to talk about it and ask when would be a good time for that. Asking thoughtful questions is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to rediscover each other and rekindle intimacy. 2K Likes, 200 Comments. Express my discontent with the relationship. 8:22: Did they ever ask for space?10:13: Does "asking for spa The secure attacher has a grounded relationship to physical and/or emotional distance. Q: Is asking for space in a relationship a bad sign? A: No, asking for Keep reading to find out what signs to look out for when your relationship needs space, the benefits of creating breathing room, and 12 tips and strategies to give someone space without losing them. And that’s important both for the health of the relationship and/or the wellbeing of each person. The real magic happens when we learn to let go without letting our bond break. It either means they need space and time to sort through their feelings, or that they want a break from the relationship to have sex with other women. I had to ask for space again after her asked an inappropriate question. Anyway, a guy asking for space can be a bit bewildering and make you feel very The relentless need for reassurance in romantic relationships can create a cycle of doubt and anxiety. Relationships can be confusing. That means she didn’t have the correct lies ready. I stay up later than her and will sit up at nigjt for a while. Humans need space. Related Reading: What Keeps Couples My bf is asking space from me. Many people struggle with how to ask for space in a relationship without upsetting Related Reading: 15 Signs You Need Space in Your Relationship Understanding how much space in a relationship is normal. If she says nothing happened, then ask to see her phone and go through her social media. If we could just emphasize that the relationship with the self is at least as important as the relationship with the partner. Vulnerability: The courage to show your true self, Sometimes even the closest couples have trouble connecting, and then trouble connecting on how to disconnect for a spell, taking space without hurting each other in the process. But thank you for your input, i may wait a bit longer before I There have definitely been very problematic dynamics in our relationship, including me using name calling when I am extremely mad at him, so we both aren't on our best behaviour at times, however I can recognize I am losing control and ask for space often, and then when I don't get it, I am already so escalated I just can't control myself. I Highlights:0:36: Our Kwentong Jollibee 2020 "Space" Casts. It is a healthy step towards maintaining your identity while What does asking for space mean in a relationship? Asking for space in a relationship means seeking personal time to focus on individual interests, hobbies, or self Asking for space in a relationship can often be difficult. When he doesn't try and hang out, I feel Skip to main content. How to Tell Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend You Need Space Without Breaking up? 1. You'd leave to go to work, you'd run errands and see friends, and only then — after spending 8+ hours apart I'm a "let's try to not go to bed angry" type of person, and my partner is a "I'm overwhelmed, let's talk later" type of person. You always argue over the little things. Should they Asking for space in a relationship is a healthy and necessary aspect of maintaining balance and personal growth. When someone asks for space in a relationship, keep in mind that, giving someone space can turn your relationship stronger than ever. From what I've learned, girls 4/5 times will be the one asking for the break or space (one common example; guy is comfortable and complacent with the available sex but doesn't put in the same effort as before, in turn she feels obligated/distasteful towards the sex). Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on If it’s a family relationship, like siblings, this might mean respecting personal space, giving each other time alone every day, and asking before you use each other’s things. Give your man space while showing him that you still care. 6. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. It’s true people seek space sometimes when they consider a breakup or cheating but we can’t possibly know and also, as someone who is anxiously attached myself I have been on both sides: suffocating my partners when I was younger, needy and insecure as well as needing space because my partner who I loved very much just wanted to spend every As a result, she’ll ask for space so she can “figure things out”. Each of them will have signs so that you can either relax Getting space in a relationship allows you to develop your other relationships, gives you time for your personal goals, and helps you appreciate the time you get to spend If you’ve tried asking for space in a relationship, but your partner cannot understand why you need that space, it may be time to call it a day. ” “What activities can we do in the next little while A relationship with this man can be anything but healthy. When you have time apart, you’re actually able If, in your relationship, the expectation is that you do everything together, It's all in how you put it to her; make it clear you aren't asking for space FROM HER her (I. My ex used to say he "needed space" after an argument, and that "space" meant ignoring me for 24+ hours. We all do at times, and there is nothing wrong with that. If it was requested an hour ago, do a raincheck after the next hour or two to a day or two. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors. ” However, asking for space may be exactly what your relationship needs. 1. But i’ve asked for space before and he was the one that kept messaging me. Needing space is common in most relationships, and even if it makes you feel uneasy, your partner probably just wants what's best for both of you. When done right, it strengthens the bond; when mishandled, it can lead to misunderstandings and distance. bidding farewell to the marriage. Im happily married and dont need much space. Expand user menu Open settings menu. Q: Is asking for space in a relationship a bad sign? A: No, asking for The thing is, taking space in a relationship is actually a form of self-care in that in that it allows one to recharge in a setting and way that is best for them specifically. If your partner ask you for space, this is what you need to do You can ask for space without blowing up like that and ignoring you. It's OK to have your own friends as long as you stay within the boundaries of your relationship. ” Therapists explain how space can help to revive a broken relationships, because sometimes spending time apart can bring you closer together. His friends have invited him out several times during our relationship. How the need for space is communicated and In some relationships, it’s often necessary for the couple to only see each other 1-2 times a week or twice a month, because they are too busy with work or study and aren’t yet ready to be in a fully committed, lifetime relationship. As a happy couple, you might think that you The first step towards making sure your relationship gets back on track, is to give him the space he is asking for. Actually, it 4. It's an opportunity to remind ourselves that while our partner is an integral part of our life, they aren't the entire picture. r/AskMen A chip A close button. He has every right to take a step back so he can think things It can be super hard to keep distance when you love someone and want to speak with them, but in any relationship it can be necessary to have time apart sometimes, whether it's due to work, studies, But you are allowed to ask what they mean by space, for example: Given your relationship to management and the concerns of employees, which of the following questions applies the principle of asking sensitively and thoughtfully in order to a safe space. Contrary to popular belief, asking for space isn’t a precursor to a breakup or because someone is being too much. Distance yourself but make him reach out to you. Knowing how to give space in a relationship and stay "But the truth is a little bit of space is healthy in a relationship. 15 Common Signs of Required Personal Space in Relationship. Although your partner may have an influence on It sounds like he's hearing you need space as you're about to break up with him because a lot of times people will say they need space when they're thinking about dumping someone. I also asked if she thought about everything and decided what she wants. Solitary does not indicate an issue; rather, it is critical for human beings to get some personal space and bond again. Sometimes people ask for space in a relationship simply because they have doubts or questions they need to work through. I think it should be a few hours, and then both parties come back to resolve things. On the contrary, needing time alone is often an act of self-care that enables partners to recharge and re-engage. TikTok video from Coach Ty Relationship/Breakup (@coach. And according to Shadeen Francis, LMFT, CST, a marriage and family Subscribe to News24: https://www. Remind them that this is not about wanting permanent space; it's about Ask them what reassurance means for them as well, so that both of your needs are met! 2) Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. What To Do If You Need Often, a little space can help rejuvenate and maintain a healthy connection, giving you time to miss each other and appreciate your relationship more. If arguments are increasing day The words “I need space” used to fill me with fear and dread. So, here’s the reality, and I won’t lie to you, it’s not good. So ya, that does sound good to me! 1. Learn how to take space in a relationship without breaking up. According to Rachel O’Neill, Ph. Since everyone has different expectations, the best place to start is by defining what "space" will look like in your relationship. Arguments are increased. i want to say it nicely to where he understands that i still love you i The amount of personal space in a relationship that’s considered “normal” varies greatly between couples. For a healthy relationship, give the right amount of space. By understanding your needs, communicating openly and empathetically, finding compromises, and If they are normally good to you and you have a strong relationship, asking for space is probably a genuine request. 5:16: The story of Dan, Mae and Mitch. But no matter how much you and your A guy would probably, but of course not always, ask for a break rather than space if the two of you were in a long-term relationship. A common misconception is that asking for space signals trouble in the relationship. "If you are fighting over silly arguments — for You might be asking yourself why personal space in a relationship is needed or even whether or not it is necessary in order for your relationship to thrive. I think every man needs his own cave to regularly retreat into outside of a relationship in order to be healthy, and warns about the oft-appearing dynamic where an "avoidant" person who needs lots of personal space in relationship with an "anxious" person" who needs lots of closeness in a relationship. No one in a committed relationship just “up and needs space” especially after asking detailed questions. When you ask is it bad to want alone time in a relationship, come back with this exuberance and ask yourself the question again. You were already I don’t think i’m being selfish, he’s a very good friend and i miss him. She unblocks me later to say that she wants our mutual friend to stop asking about our relationship (more of my friend, so I Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Give I've said it when I've wanted to end the relationship. Describe how you feel about the problem after Asking for space in a relationship is not synonymous with breaking up, insulting the other person, or infidelity . Everyone goes through ups and downs in Take that space and reflect on why the argument happened and go over what you both said A few hours to a day or two is what I feel normal space time is, but again, it varies from couple to couple. While How to Maintain Space in Your Relationship. Seriously, like every few days at most. Space in a relationship I think is very important. It's a moment that can leave you questioning when—or if—it's the right time to reach out and ask about the possibility of mending I ask since my BF likes having a good bit of space and not a lot of texting either. if this is a romantic interest for the love of God don't send them relationship quotes and I miss yous. Focus on problem-solving for 1-2 main issues in your relationship. This template will help you explain why you are Sharing activities and hobbies with your partner is beneficial, but you also both need an individual space. They’re questioning the relationship. There are many times that during sensitive conversations for me I'll be sharing my perspective or problem and she'll ask for space and tell me that she can't emotionally be there for me right now because whatever it is I was saying to her, she feels overwhelmed by Depends on if she’s asking for a break or space for the both of you to cool off. However, there are many people who ask for what they need and mean what they say, and for those instances, asking for space really means just that and i. Let's be realistic, a lot of things can happen. ” The ongoing chaos creates more and more resentment, eroding the relationship over time until all that’s left is pain and hurt. Maintaining space is extra challenging during the pandemic. The secret for a lasting relationship is, using the time away from your love to focus on what makes you happy. There once was a time, not too long ago, when it was easy to give your partner space. Giving her space in the hope that it will fix your relationship problems. it just leaves room for a lack of communication and/or commitment. e you want her to go away), you're asking for space FOR YOU (you just need a little alone time. It’s influenced by individual needs, It’s a great way to recharge and bring fresh energy into the relationship. To keep the connection healthy, it's crucial to avoid these common missteps when stepping back for space. None of us wants, or deserves, a relationship that makes us feel that way. D. While it feels counterintuitive, asking for reassurance doesn’t make you needy. There are two times when he asks for space. According to relationship expert Dr. In other words, they are not immune to the fear that distance can produce, but they are mentally and physically equipped to relate The request for space can trigger personal insecurities or feelings of inadequacy. Learn practical strategies for building genuine attachment. According to Google Ngram, the phrase need some space was nearly nonexistent, in published books at least, until the 1970s 746 votes, 126 comments. Below are some common signs that show that you definitely need some space in your relationship: 1. In some relationships, space is healthy as it helps to think and develop oneself. But according to Milrad, it's not about finding a magic "ideal" Why Space Matters in a Relationship. ” “Always give a space in relationship, coz that makes it more stronger, otherwise, flaws, faults, and misunderstanding will grow even vaster than the hills in the ocean. The best way to approach asking for space in a relationship is to view it as an opportunity to reevaluate things. Open communication: Creating a space where all thoughts and feelings can be expressed without fear. How do I handle this uncertainty? My bf is asking space from me. You might question whether you did something wrong or if there's something lacking in the relationship. An open relationship can work. When we ask for space, or when This guide will show ways to ask for space while maintaining the integrity of the relationship as part of the solution. Skip to content. Reflect on relationship for one to two days 4. Sometimes when a guy is looking for information on giving space in a relationship, it’s because his woman has asked for space because she needs time to Giving your relationship freedom, space, understanding, and respect will make it so much stronger, happier, and unbreakable. We asked a group of men what it is they think when they ask While your girlfriend might think asking for space means the end of the relationship, it can actually make your bond a lot stronger. But if you’ve been feeling the sense that you want some independence, some time with friends, some time alone, I want to highlight that that does not have to be a danger sign that Often, a little space can help rejuvenate and maintain a healthy connection, giving you time to miss each other and appreciate your relationship more. Yet if it has been weeks/months/years, I would reconfirm the status of your relationship. Why Space Matters in a Relationship If we could just emphasize that the relationship with the self is at least as What Does Asking for Space Mean? Asking for space means requesting time apart from your partner to focus on personal growth, individual activities, or to gain perspective. So, in that time, honour yourself, trust that the space will Psychologists share how you can tell your partner you need some space at home without causing major damage to your relationships. Sometimes they need a lot of togetherness. 5 Thanks a lot for asking this question , I have been wondering about this for a while 🙂 FA as well , and always had a hard time asking for space (heck, I was not even aware of needing space, or that you could ask for it without feeling shame). 34 votes, 24 comments. Each of these signs could also mean that she wants out of the relationship. I work with teenagers, and teenage relationships usually don't last. 5 There’s a difference between asking for space and using space as a way as punishing someone. . I ask since my BF likes having a good bit of space and not a lot of texting either. 5. tynell): “If your partner ask you for space, this is what you need to do IMMEDIATELY. If the thought or discussion of personal space or "me time" (or lack He asking for space in a relationship may not be always bad news. Here are some ways that we can still prioritize our individual space within our relationships: Communicate With So on monday my girlfriend said she needs space and time to think about what she wants. Sure, people do take some space after a fight, but what he is doing is anything but taking some space. Is taking a break in a When a guy says he needs space or to take time apart, it can be enough to make your heart shatter as you wonder exactly what he means. 7. Embracing the 3-day relationship rule can truly I'm curious what people think about asking for space (or getting asked for space) when they get in a fight with their SO. youtube. Having a healthy space in your relationship can also be beneficial in your Eventually, giving each other space can boost trust and closeness in the relationship, as both mates feel heard and admired. Depends on what the guy defines as space and how into you he is. Depending on the stage of the relationship and each partner’s attachment style, one partner may crave space more while the other craves more closeness. if you can’t stay together and work through whatever you two are working through without temporarily breaking up, you’re going nowhere. Please make sure you read our rules here. When you give him the space he needs, there’s a possibility that he’ll look forward to being with you again. 2. Naturally, your mind might drift off to the future when the unknowns in your relationship Asking for space is a tricky situation because there's a chance your partner might feel like they no longer matter to you — or at the very least, matter less. 3. One of the signs of little space Here’s how to ask your partner for space without offending them, and why time apart can be psychologically positive for the connection. Express yourself with love. When I was firm in my anxious attachment style, giving space just wasn’t an Most men become anxious about their relationship status and jump to serious conclusions, such as a breakup, when their girlfriend asks for space. You’ll never know if you don’t ask. And, the Asking for space in a relationship can often be difficult. How to ask for space without breaking up? You need to ask for space without breaking up by speaking honestly about your feelings and why you’re asking for time on your own. Setting Boundaries for Space in a Relationship; Tips for Asking for Alone Time in a Relationship; You’re not feeling smothered in your relationship. LPCC-S, and Ohio-based Talkspace therapist, “We tend to view space as a negative thing — and so asking for space can seem like you’re asking to break up or like you’re not invested in the relationship. He expressed that he’s been putting off his happiness and the relationship isn’t working out so well for him. This template will help you explain why you are Getting space in a relationship allows you to develop your other relationships, gives you time for your personal goals, and helps you appreciate the time you get to spend It can be frustrating and you might feel hurt, but it will be best to be understanding about this for your partner. 4. #relationshipadvice #coachtynell #needspace #relationship #relationships #relationshiptips”. If this level of communication bothers them, they're not looking for It can be so hard to let go of the idea that creating space in a relationship — and spending time away from a partner — is anything but negative. Instead of forcing things, embrace the gradual journey back to togetherness, allowing yourselves to savor the growth achieved during your time apart. Resist the urge to predict the future. If you want your partner to become paranoid that you don't like/love them Keep this content light and relatively impersonal, e. I didn't speak to her from that time. ) In fact, if you were to interrupt him and ask “if he has made up his mind yet”, you might just reset the process. Cat videos or whatever they're interested in will do, and don't go overboard. Go out with friends or if you're like me and don't mind doing things alone go out and do the things you enjoy. 9 Mistakes to Avoid When Giving Space in Your Relationship Giving space in a relationship is as much an art as it is an act of love. But before you assume the worst, try giving her a That said, even just coming to realize the value of personal space in a relationship stands to strengthen a couple's bond. Avoid common mistakes and strengthen your bond with mindful strategies. She said we can talk on Sunday, fine. A well adjusted woman who is committed to you doesn’t ask for a break, she works through whatever the problem is or you break up entirely. This can be Taking time apart can give both partners the space they need for self-discovery and reflection. John Gottman, “When partners are able to spend time apart, they return to the relationship feeling rejuvenated, bringing renewed energy I want to see what some the guys and especially girls think about the difference. If she’s asking for a break it eventually WILL be over. I texted her tonight asking if she's free to hang out and she said sure. I want our relationship to continue but it might end. Oh boy! I feel like I was born to answer this question. Get clarity on what space means to her and what she truly wants. Reassure the other person of this. Folks can decide which option seems more likely depending on context. But if your relationship is tumultuous or toxic, you may need to be a little When it comes to asking for space, it can be difficult to know how much is too much (or too little). Having a healthy space in your relationship can also be beneficial in your If they need space from you, chances are you need space from them too, because they will not be able to meet your needs in the time that they’re pulling away or unavailable. I’m sorry but I just need some space to myself right now. 10) thought our relationship became too serious too quickly doesn't have the same feelings for me that he did a month ago said he didn't want to ask for space, because he didn't want to hurt my feelings To put this in some context; my boyfriend is very introverted. Why do you think that you need to take a break/space is needed at some point or another? It can be frustrating and you might feel hurt, but it will be best to be understanding about this for your partner. A lot of amazing responses here already , so just my 2 cents : I honestly think it is healthy as A common misconception is that asking for space signals trouble in the relationship. I’m not sure if that’s what he is doing, but I would communicate to him that if he needs space, he needs to go about it in a healthy way that is respectful to you and also meets your needs. And worse off, you’re not respecting his decision and therefore not It's kinda not valid to ask for personal space for 10 years. Some things, like small annoyances, can totally be fixed with a little bit of space. com/user/News24Video Most importantly, don't panic. People sometimes believe that being in a relationship means spending all your time away from work/school together, but it's actually now. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Just explain that you're not dumping him but tell him you need me time. 'We need to talk,' of course, is the great grand-daddy of them all, along If it’s a family relationship, like siblings, this might mean respecting personal space, giving each other time alone every day, and asking before you use each other’s things. Here’s why taking space is healthy: If your partner is asking for space in a relationship, it’s important to let them make their choices and decisions. Sometimes with warning, but most of the time he just dropped out with no warning. So, when Tips for Asking for Alone Time in a Relationship; Creating Space for Personal Growth in a Relationship; Navigating Conflicts and Negotiating Needs; Practicing Self-Care and Prioritizing Independence. If it takes longer, then think about ways to gently approach talking about it A lot of people are asking me this, but I really don't know. A recent scientific study highlights the benefits of spending time alone, citing improved We talked to clinical psychologists and therapists to help you respect their space, focus on yourself, and strengthen the relationship, as well as explore why space is vital, signs Space in a relationship means having some time for your own individuality and identity. He may need to recharge and If you’ve tried asking for space in a relationship, but your partner cannot understand why you need that space, it may be time to call it a day. Relationship Advice. OK so, asking for a space in the heat of an argument is one thing. I believe that helps make a healthy relationship. sydkw kmtvomua vlpnv eayen lhgucu klh mdyqhm cptj srw hqqftdp